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And Found God
I came to the edge of understanding
and found God patiently waiting.
I looked upon the face of death
and found God calmly breathing.
I gave up my hopes and dreams
and found God secretly believing.
I basked in anger and resentment
and found God totally forgiving.
I wallowed in the depths of sadness
and found God quietly reflecting.
I embraced the pomp of certainty
and found God playfully laughing.
I feared that no one would love me
and found God disarmingly adoring.
I came to a new understanding
and found God joyously celebrating.
-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"
My Poetic Notes:
The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: After moving to Portland, Oregon in August of 1999 from Salt Lake City, Utah, where I was born, I returned back to Utah for about two years from January of 2007 to April of 2009, while I was trying to save money, by living with my father, as I tried to pay off my credit card debt.
Then, a few months after returning to Salt Lake City, I became really sick and I was hospitalized about a dozen times over several months due to multiple infections. Plus, I went from being simply HIV-positive to having full-blown AIDS, which is also when I stopped being able to work. Also, I eventually had to declare bankruptcy, and I applied to receive Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI), since I could no longer work. And I almost died a few times due to the various opportunistic infections. But it was the last time that I almost died—and I faced my fear of not being able to take care of myself—which inspired this poem! Plus, this is when I first started taking HIV medications, which I have been taking ever since, and that has really helped to maintain my good health.
And this poem was also published on my "Three Dark Horses" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blogs (please see the hyperlinks below for the blogs), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message I am trying to convey through "Three Dark Horses" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer." Plus, I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message I am trying to convey through my new "The Oneness Of God" spiritual practice!
This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.
However, I may be remembering that incorrectly, because this poem may have been written in Portland, Oregon after I moved there for the second time in 2009; but, I think that this was the only poem that I wrote while I was still in Salt Lake City, Utah when I returned to try and pay off my credit card debt.
-Paulee
https://threedarkhorses.blogspot.com
https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com
This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 064 was edited on May 6th, 2024.
"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]
