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| (Image from OpenResources.org) |
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States." Dial 988
Awakening
I can no longer be
detached
from the suffering, like
a father
who feels the welts
he paints on the
bare behind
of his son only through
a distant sympathy.
I have observed myself
like a viewer does
the figure in an
Edward Hopper painting
—from an indifferent
perspective—
and ignored my emotional
seclusion.
I could never see myself
in my artwork;
and now
that I can
it terrifies me:
all of my paintings,
poems and personalities
were and attractive facade.
I can no longer run...
I am rapidly being
confronted with
myself—
an awakening volcano of
reality.
And I can no longer consider ending my own life...
-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"
My Poetic Notes:
The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: This is a poem that I wrote, back in college, while I was experiencing depression.
And I found myself finally having to confront the feelings that I had been running away from my entire life: that I was gay and there was nothing I could do to change that! And even though I was suicidal at the time, I realized that ending my life would be completely pointless; and that is why I finally sought counseling to deal with my issues. And so, this is the poem that started my "career," so to speak, as a writer!
And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."
This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.
-Paulee
https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States." Dial 988
This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 001 was edited on June 17th, 2023.
"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]
