Post No. 030: For Someone I Will Never Forget

(Image from The Denver Post)

This Child

For the girl
sobbing fiercely
in the Pinto
turning left in
front of me,
whose mother is
screaming at her
and calling her

a fucking brat;

For this child
who thinks she
can’t fight back;
who thinks she's
earned every word;
who thinks her
mother is right;
who thinks the
fault lies with her—

let there be a Christ:

Let someone trap
her tears;
Let someone hold
her tight;
Let someone stay
her fear;
Let her know she
is alright.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: Even though the event which inspired this poem happened in the late 1980s, or early 1990s, it is still difficult for me to talk about! And this event also happened when I was just starting to express my homosexuality.

You see, I was driving to downtown Salt Lake City with the intention of looking at gay porn at an adult card shop, when this Pinto car turned left in front of me and I could see and hear a mother yelling at her daughter. (That is, I assume that the driver and passenger were mother and daughter.) And the mother was calling her daughter "a fucking brat!"

I was so moved by what I saw and heard that I turned around, headed back home, and wrote this poem. By the way, I changed the ending—and the last line used to read, "Let her be loved tonight."

Just so you know, I revised this poem, as I often do with my writing! And I changed how this poem was written when I was editing it on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" and "Small All White in the Forest" blogs. So, I wanted to show you how this poem used to be written, before I revised it as above.

This Child

For the girl
sobbing fiercely
in the Pinto
turning left in
front of me,
whose mother is
screaming at her
and calling her

a fucking brat.

For this child
who thinks she
can’t fight back,
who thinks she's
earned every word,
who thinks her
mother is right,
who thinks the
fault lies with her—

let there be a Christ.

Let someone trap
her tears.
Let someone hold
her tight.
Let someone stay
her fear.
Let her know she
is alright.

Thus, I revised this poem to be written as it is above.

And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 030 was edited on September 7th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 029: For Greg (My First Gay Friend), Part 5 — Though (and) Still

(Image from Globe Views)

Though...

...I would never again look
so long, my friend—
for when being friends took
so long, my friend,
feeling that I had known you
so long, my friend,
carried me along through
'so long, my friend.'

Still...

...You have been cold for
so long, my friend, that
I can only endure
so long, my friend.
I have been 'dumb' for you
so long, my friend,
that before I am 'numb' too
so long, my friend.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I had a huge crush on my first gay friend Greg, but he already had a boyfriend! And I let go of Greg as a friend, because I felt like he wasn't good for me, which is why I wrote this poem but—more than likely—it was probably just me who was at fault!

You see, I had way too many expectations for what our relationship could be, since I had a huge crush on him—although he wasn't interested in me 'romantically.' And I imagine that is why Greg was so 'cold' to me, because he wasn't interested in me 'romantically,' but I still expected more from our relationship...even though I really shouldn't have.

Just so you know, I revised this poem, as I often do with my writing! And I changed how one line of this poem was written when I realized that I should remove the metaphorical comparisons to "deafness" and "blindness," since it is disrespectful toward those who are deaf or blind. So, I wanted to show you how this particular line used to be written, before I revised it as above.

And it used to be written like this:

I have been 'deaf' for you
so long, my friend,
that before I am 'blind' too
so long, my friend.

Thus, I revised this poem to be written as it is above.

And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 029 was edited on September 7th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 028: For Greg (My First Gay Friend), Part 4 — The Seducer's Song

(Image from DogChannel.com)

The Seducer's Song

Have I frightened you, my
dearest friend?
Have I scared you from me?
Behind the curtain you spied me,
dearest friend,
a watcher's ruses tumbling.

Though, I meant my quest for a
dearest friend,
The Seducer's Song sings true.
I know you love me as your
dearest friend,
but I'm in love with you.

You embraced me when, my
dearest friend,
my eyes rained confession blue.
And his song you affirmed, the
dearest friend,
who seduced and stayed with you.

Though your kinship is rich,
dearest friend,
my desire spends your wealth.
Still seeking you as my
dearest friend,
think I'll siren someone else!

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I had a huge crush on my first gay friend Greg, but he already had a boyfriend! And I wrote this poem as a way to express my romantic feelings for him—although he wasn't interested in me 'romantically.'

And "The Seducer's Song" is a reference to the way that I felt that I was treating Greg as an 'object of my affection' and how I was "secretly trying to seduce him," which Greg called me out on; so, I decided that I should "siren someone else," because I was making Greg feel really uncomfortable by trying to convince him to break up with his boyfriend—and to date me instead—since I was so attracted to Greg!

And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 028 was edited on September 6th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 027: For Greg (My First Gay Friend), Part 3 — The Herbage

(Image from Gardening Know How)

The Herbage

I can see that you are
sensual, when combing
fingers through your hair.

My learned self (to me
essential) is an awkward
schoolboy when you're near.

Always conducting the
conversation, you lead
me to smile at your notes.

I feel midnight in situations
and pray your sunlight
I could know.

I am humored by the
herbage, who laugh at
your warped view.

How I love to engage in
deep philosophies
with you.

But sometimes my
thoughts are of how
you perceive me.

For, I am August
with a twist of
melancholy.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I had a huge crush on my first gay friend Greg, but he already had a boyfriend! And I wrote this poem as a way to express my romantic feelings for him—although he wasn't interested in me 'romantically.'

And "The Herbage" is a metaphorical reference to all of the houseplants that Greg had in his apartment, since the word 'herbage' actually means "herbaceous vegetation (such as grass) especially when used for grazing."

And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 027 was edited on September 6th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 026: For Greg (My First Gay Friend), Part 2 — One (and) Two

(Image from Gleneden Beach Community Club)

One

You think I am
there—even
expect me to be—
as you extract
the lake from
sodium sand,
with your Keds
ultraviolet
in the moonlight.

Vainly, you look
for me—just like
you search for the
specter terns,
costumed by night,
whose crying
above you
hallucinates
into a noctural sky
of wailing stars.

Two

Moaning seagulls
mock my orgasmic
anthem, as my
exhausted knees
dig into
the gritty linen of
his cool bed,
succumbing to
my flailing muscles.

For, I am there—
just as I have been
the sixty-five times
before—rotting with
the brine fly pupal
casings, breathing
ripples in the water,
making love to
the beach.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: The original "Saltair I" and "Saltair II" Resorts used to be located in Salt Lake City, Utah on the Great Salt Lake, which is west of the Salt Lake International Airport. And, in the late 1980s, it was just "a road," with some old pilings protruding from the lake and from "the road."

And my first gay friend Greg introduced me to Saltair Beach in Salt Lake City, Utah, where the original "Saltair I" and "Saltair II" Pavilions both stood—before fire and fortune destroyed them both! And that is how I came to know and love this place "away from civilization," where I could commune with nature. [Please see "Saltair Beach-Inspired Poem (in Salt Lake City Utah)" in labels for my poems about Saltair.] You can still see the pilings from these once magnificent structures, along with the cement shell of the old power building.

And, way back in the late 1980s, Greg and I used to walk along 'the road' that lead out to the lake where the original "Saltair I" and "Saltair II" Pavilions once stood—and we would go there during storms in order to watch how the weather would interact with the Great Salt Lake!

And so, Greg told me this one time that he had been at the beach and he said that he could feel my presence there—as if he practically expected to see me there too! So, I wrote this poem with the "One" representing the time Greg was there (and expected me to be there also) and with the "Two" representing that time that I was actually there "relieving sexual tensions," so to speak, at the beach, while I was fantasizing that I was making love to another male.

And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 026 was edited on September 6th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 025: For Greg (My First Gay Friend), Part 1 — The Road To...

(Image from Gleneden Beach Community Club)

The Road To...

At the beach in a night-time
storm, we lithograph
sand with our formerly-white
shoes and travel the fossil
of Saltair Resort toward
shaking gray waters.

Wisdom pours forth from
two Socratic men—with
no less fluidity than the
deluge—spawning the surf
to surge against the rocks
in resounding appeasement.

You—defying the ebony abyss—
and I—longing to dilute into it—
simmer to wishes of Earl Grey tea,
as we a cappella that Simon and
Garfunkel theme, delighting the
brine fly pupal casings beneath us.

Of coconut incense taste your
words—spoken warm and swift
as the ivory tern slicing
through the sable rain, yet
certain like the waves coursing
toward us in the wind—

when you call me your friend.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: The original "Saltair I" and "Saltair II" Resorts used to be located in Salt Lake City, Utah on the Great Salt Lake, which is west of the Salt Lake International Airport. And, in the late 1980s, it was just "a road," with some old pilings protruding from the lake and from "the road."

And my first gay friend Greg introduced me to Saltair Beach in Salt Lake City, Utah, where the original "Saltair I" and "Saltair II" Pavilions both stood—before fire and fortune destroyed them both! And that is how I came to know and love this place "away from civilization," where I could commune with nature. [Please see "Saltair Beach-Inspired Poem (in Salt Lake City Utah)" in labels for my poems about Saltair.] You can still see the pilings from these once magnificent structures, along with the cement shell of the old power building.

And, way back in the late 1980s, Greg and I used to walk along 'the road' that lead out to the lake where the original "Saltair I" and "Saltair II" Pavilions once stood—and we would go there during storms in order to watch how the weather would interact with the Great Salt Lake!

And, after Greg and I had been spending time together for a few months, one night along "The Road To..." he told me, for the first time, that he considered me to be one of his closest friends! It really meant a lot to me, since I am such an introvert, which is why I wrote this poem.

Anyway, that particular night, during a storm, we were singing the song "Bridge Over Troubled Water," by Simon and Garfunkel, for obvious reasons! And we were also fantasizing about being back at his apartment drinking Earl Grey tea. (I still lived with my parents, since I was in college, which is where I met Greg.)

And this poem was also published on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 025 was edited on September 6th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 024: For 'zendawg23' with whom I chatted online and he inspired me!

(Image from WallpaperCave)

I Am The Sound
[An "Amazing Grace" poem poetic adaptation]

Amazing Grace, I am the sound
which saved a soul like me. I once
cried, "lost," but now I call "found."
I was in a "bind," but now "I'm free!"

'Twas myself who taught my heart to
fear—and myself my fears relieved.
How precious did I finally appear
the minute I first believed!

Through many pleasures, joys
and scares, I have already come.
'Tis myself who took me out this far
and I will bring myself home!

When I have been there a zillion
years, bright shining as The Son,
I have no less days to be God's Praise
than when I had first begun!

Amazing Grace, I am the sound
which saves a soul like me. I once
cried "lost," but now I cry "found,"
I was in a "bind," but now "I'm free!"

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., Small All White in the Forest)
"I am no barrier to its sun; the light and I are as one!"

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My Poetic Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: To be perfectly honest, I do not remember exactly how I was inspired—after chatting online with someone called "zendawg23" (on the now defunct gay.com chat site)—to do a poetic adaptation of John Newton's famous poem "Amazing Grace." I do know that I was trying to convey the idea that we all have the power to 'make ill,' or to 'make well,' our own souls, because I truly do believe that "We Are All A Part Of God!"

Thus, this poem is a poetic adaptation of the hymn "Amazing Grace," which was originally written as a poem by John Newton and joined with the hymn "New Britain," as the melody most currently associated with the hymn. And it is one of two adaptations that I have written of John Newton's poem-turned-into-a-hymn with the other poem being inspired by Leann Rimes' a cappella cover of the hymn "Amazing Grace," which is published on this blog. (Please see "Amazing Grace-Style Poem" in labels for the poem.)

Just so you know, I revised this poem, as I often do with my writing! And I changed how one line of this poem was written when I realized that I should remove the metaphorical comparison to "blindness," since it is disrespectful toward those who are blind. So, I wanted to show you how this particular line used to be written, before I revised it as above.

And it used to be written like this:

...claimed I was "blind," but now "I see!"

Thus, I revised this poem to be written as it is above.

And this poem was also published on my "Three Dark Horses" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blogs (please see the hyperlinks below for the blogs), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message I am trying to convey through "Three Dark Horses" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer." Plus, I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message I am trying to convey through my new "The Oneness Of God" spiritual practice!

This poem was poetically adapted in Portland, Oregon.

-Paulee

https://threedarkhorses.blogspot.com

https://paulwhitingwriting.blogspot.com

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This "Small All White in the Forest" Post No. 024 was edited on April 26th, 2026.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]